Let's Forget About It
by Charles The Cheesecake
Summary: After escaping the ship, a major injury has caused Connie to be trapped in a coma. And Steven tries to find a way to forgive himself for causing it. Warning: Self-Abuse, Graphic Injury and Blood. Rating changes between chapters. (Title has been changed and so has my original idea) STORY CURRENTLY PUT ON HOLD
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first story. I will do more romance stuff but right now, I have had this idea in mind. Reviews are important.

WARNING: Self-Harm, Blood and Graphic Injury

Chapter 1: The Pain of Memory

The events replayed through my head, so enveloping even so long after it. Over and over. They wouldn't stop! Her scream, her blood,...her leg...

I yelled in to my hand cupped over my mouth and made another slash through my thigh. It wasn't anywhere near deep, none of them were. But the sight of a small drop of blood and the feeling of a blade breaking the skin was good enough...my thoughts came back to reality. I've never cut any deeper than a major paper cut, but I don't heal them until after I've stop thinking about it.

My eyes glance back over to my right. Connie's still there, laying on the medical padding beside my bed. 'She looks like she's just sleeping' says my thoughts 'But she's not! Connie is in a coma! And you put her there!'

"I know! I know!" I yelled as loud as I could at my own mind. I feel like I'm going insane!

I cried while pulling my jeans over my legs, up to the ankle. The door swung open and the Gems rushed in with worried looks on their faces.

Instinctively, I pulled the blanket over the lower half of my body.

End of chapter 1.

What did Steven do? And what happened to Connie?

New chapter every two days.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Almost in One Piece

3 Days Ago:

Connie had been taken with me aboard the gem ship that had also captured the rest of us. We both had been placed in the same cell. Luckily, we had escaped and had found the rest of the Gems. After Garnet defeated Jasper, the ship's commander, the ship was going down and was moments from hitting ground.

"Steven! Use your bubble!" shouted Garnet. She ran to where I was, with Connie in tail.

I put my hands to the side and my gem started to glow. It was about to summon when the ship crashed and shook even the ground below us. Pieces of the ceiling came crashing down around us and everyone gathered around me waiting for my bubble. I heard a small come down beside us but sounded like it hit something not solid. Connie's scream proved that it was the case. But adrenaline blocked that sound from going any further than my ears.

Panic ran through me as huge piece of metal detached from the ceiling and was about to land straight on top of us. But my bubble came up in time to stop it from crushing us all. Still, I had instinctively closed my eyes at the sight if it coming down.

While opening them again I see bits of rock falling off the side of the sphere. A massive explosion came from deeper in the ship and put me on edge again. It obliterated walls and shone brightly as it came to us at amazing speed. Even though it must've took less than a second to reach us, it seemed to come in slow motion, letting me see the cloud coming at us very clearly.

I knew it couldn't penetrate the bubble, but the force of it had torn the entire ship apart and sent dust and debris everywhere. We were completely blinded from seeing anything as the thickness of the cloud had blocked sunlight.

After a little bit of time, the ashes began to dissipate and I relaxed.

'Yes, we had escaped the ship and in one piece as well' I think. I released the bubble and stared at the wreckage until Amethyst's cry broke through the silence.

"Oh, SHIT!" yelled Amethyst.

"Amethyst! What!?" Pearl asked nervously and everyone turned around to see what she was worried about, but I feared I had already knew why. And even though I wish I had been wrong, it was what I thought it would be. And I knew she was hurt, too, but Connie had been injured worse than I could have ever imagined.

Connie was laying on the ground, unconscious with a scratches down her leg. The scratches went all the way down entire it was led to where her knee would be. Her entire lower left leg was torn off the rest of her body. It had an boneless piece of flesh mindlessly holding it to the upper leg. Like how ripping the majority of a grape into two would leave some of the skin intact to connect the pieces. The telltale chunk of what seemed like concrete laid on the side of the detached piece, covered in blood, letting all of us know what had fallen on her.

"It's okay. Right? It's okay!" Pearl said extremely worried but tried to mask it, "You have healing tears right, Steven? Right?!"

She looked over, biting her teeth together, and saw I had not received a single word she said. My body tensed up as panic flowed throughout all of it. Thoughts raced through my head, all at the same time.

'Oh NO! I summoned the bubble too late!'

'We just HAD to have a sleep over. And the ship just HAD to come at that time.'

'You can help her! Just wake up! Just wake UP!'

A sharp pain ran across my face and took me out of it. Pearl was looking at me with her hand in the air.

"I'm very sorry about that, Steven!" her face looked like she had regretted slapping me, but in reality she shouldn't have, "But I had to get you back to us somehow! Look at me!" She shook my shoulders, "She is NOT DEAD! But she WILL be if you don't help her! UNDERSTAND!?"

I couldn't respond right away, my mind was still reeling back to me. She shook both of my shoulders again.

"OKAY!?"

"Y-Yes, I understand," I reply. I moved up to Connie's body and looked at her leg. It would've made me sick if my mind hadn't blocked it out of my thoughts. Garnet had already begun moving the rock away and Amethyst held the torn limb in place after the rock was moved. She had only held it with two fingers as she was obviously very uneasy about the sight of it. And she had a right to be.

I licked the palm of my hand and gingerly place it on to the gash. I stared at it for a split second, even though it might has well been half an hour, before the leg glowed and the two pieces became one again.

Pearl scanned Connie's body with her gem.

"Well, she's in a coma," as she concluded and turned to face me, "but she is definitely stable. Thanks to you, Steven, she will live." She gave me a smile.

As she finished, my head went light and I fainted.

###

After coming to an hour later, Garnet filled in the gap of time that I had missed. Lion had came around to assist in whatever he could which was carrying me and Connie back to the house. Amethyst got the padding from below my bed which we had kept there along with all our First Aid items. Pearl prepped here medical syringes which were used to inject Connie with liquid nutrient supplements as she obviously couldn't eat. Apparently Pearl had "borrowed" them from the hospital Dr. Maheswaran works at for emergencies. And while Garnet searched the ship's remains, Lapis and Jasper fused and Lapis dragged them both in to the ocean. She assured me that we were safe and that we would find them both.

The days after that consisted of me staying my bed and mindlessly staring at unconscious Connie while the Gems sat on the porch thinking of our next move. Occasionally, I injected her with one of the syringes Pearl gave to me. It's times like these that all of us express gratitude to Pearl and her knowledge of medicine and health, even completely useless to gemkind. And every time something like this happens, I make sure she knows that I am thankful.

I also haven't ate anything ever since then and barely drank any water. I feel into a state of depression, feeling guilty for not summoning the bubble fast enough, or bringing Connie over for a slumber party. Or even just being her friend! She wouldn't have to go through as much pain if she didn't know me! She would just have a normal life and live on to become an amazing doctor, BUT I HAD TO COME AROUND AND SCREW EVERYTHING UP FOR HER!

Thoughts like those have kept me up most of the nights and led me to cutting myself. I had never thought that I would ever need to do something like that. But without it, I can't escape whenever the thoughts come out of me. I don't want to hurt myself, but a side of me thinks that I deserve nothing less.

Leaving her side wasn't an option either.

You don't leave them when you're the reason they can wake up.

End of chapter 2

What can the gems do to help Steven's depression?

Next chapter is in four days.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Learn From Another's Mistake

Pearl was the first to come in the door, but surprisingly, Amethyst and Garnet didn't. She glanced up at me, murmured to the other two that I was fine, and started walking over to me. Her body was only lit a part at a time as the window blind only let in lines of moonlight. She sat on the side of my bed

"You're not holding up too good are you?" Her face had a genuine look of concern. The three of them have been sitting on the front porch for the past day after everything seemed situated. They did it because of they didn't want to have me go through my demons alone. But I felt even worse when I knew that their time is being wasted on me when they could be doing something besides looking after me.

I didn't respond as she already knew answer.

"Come on, Steven. You can't say it's your fault that she's like this." I glared at Pearl because she knew that it was. And if she didn't, I knew I was. But she ignored it and continued. "Amethyst could've kept a better hold of Peridot, I could've flown the ship faster, Garnet could've thrown Jasper elsewhere, and Lapis could've helped us on the ship. We all had done what we thought was right."

I had spoken loudly, "But she wouldn't even BE here if it weren't for me. She woul-" Pearl covered my mouth with her finger and silenced my words. She kept it on there for what seemed like forever. She closed her eyes, sighed, and looked back with watery eyes, her hand softly let go of my mouth.

"You're beating yourself up over this and it hurts all of us. You always seem to blame yourself whenever something happens to Connie." Her eyes shed a tear from each one, it wasn't like her to do this. She must've been thinking about this for a long time for her to lose her cool, and I felt bad. "And it's not going to end up happy for anyone if you keep on like this." She laid down next to me and regained her composure. "I'm sorry, I just remember when I did the same thing as you. Except I beat myself up much harder. Did I ever tell you that story?" I shook my head. "Well, I'll tell you one day. Right now, get your mind off her and get some sleep. It can only help and I can promise you that she'll be here when you get back." She said it in that sweet tone she had whenever she wanted to make someone feel better.

"Okay," I complied. She got up and started to walk away when she turned back around when my time to smile at me. I gave a weak one back and turned over to face the window. But when I did, the razor fell out of my pocket and hit the floor. It sounded like a pin but it might as well been as loud as a airplane as the sound cut right through the silence. I quickly turn back over to see Pearl standing in her place, eyes pointed at mine, mouth slightly open in shock, almost as she were frozen.

We stood there staring at each other, the piece of metal glowing in the light of the moon that fell on it. It had blood on the sharp side of it. "Steven," she said almost disappointed, "Please tell me you didn't." Only silence answered her as I was scared to answer. After another forever, she walked back over and sat cross-legged by my bedside. Her head looked at the floor.

"I wish I can say I'm surprised, or at the very least disappointed, but I can't be when I've done the same before." She looked upward again but didn't turn to face me. Her hand reached over and picked up the blade with her index and middle finger and handed it back to me. I wanted to grab it but I was paralyzed. She figured this at set it on my dresser.

"When I told you that I had beat myself up much harder than you, I had meant it quite literally. And I guess I did tell you that I'd share it with you someday. I guess you can learn from it if I told you now..." She thought about what she was going to say for a while, as if wondering if she should tell me. But tell me what?

"I'm sorry, Pearl. It just... it just helped me through my thoughts. I know you're disappointed that I did this t-" her yell cut me off.

"Steven! Don't ever say that I'm disappointed in you!" her head turned to me with eyes filled with tears and wide open. There was no anger anywhere, just sadness. "I should be the one who's sorry. I should've told you this long before." She got up and summoned a picture from her gem.

Be for she could show me, I spoke, "Wait, Pearl. What are you about to show me?"

She looked at the picture, kept in a wooden 8x10 frame. "It's a picture of me. I had kept it to remind me of what happened when I tried to keep my emotions down. Whenever I got angry from then on, I'd look at this and then I'd know what to do. But I should tell you the story behind it." She laid on the rug in the middle of the floor and began.

"Six months after you were born, me and Amethyst got into a big fight. We both have forgotten what it was about, but we hope that it something important enough to almost lose each other to. We had screamed at each other and it had escalated to me throwing the first punch. When she had recovered, she drew her whip and slashed me across the midsection. While I was on the ground, she asked what she wanted from me. When I got back up from it I said to her these exact words: 'I wish you were normal.'

"I regret it so much now that I know how much that meant to Amethyst. She knew that she wasn't like any other Amethyst and she had always hated herself for it. But I didn't care at the time, I just kept being mad while she ran out the door crying.

"The next day, I found that Amethyst had ran away as she didn't come back from last night. Me and Garnet set about to search for her. Garnet's future vision said she'd be most likely at the kindergarten but we didn't find her when we searched the place. I remembered that Amethyst ran off without usage of the warp pad so she couldn't have gone far. But after a day of searching Beach City and its surrounding area, we came up with nothing. To help keep down my emotions, I had taken up the human concept of smoking. The chemicals contained in cigarettes can't hurt gems and I've heard it to be relaxing. And while I substantial supply from my past and the act seemed to work during the search, it did nothing when I was alone with my thoughts. I soon decided to find another way. When I was walking to my room, I had looked myself in the mirror in the hallway. I hated what I saw. I saw a gem who drove a friend away from home, one who let her emotions get in the way once too many times. I hated myself.

"Later on, while I was cleaning my swords, my mind was still in a haze and the sword slipped from my hands. It left a clean gash down my left leg. I screamed at the pain but what I had realized was that it was just physical pain. I thought that it was probably no where near what Amethyst had felt and I deserved for that to have happened to me. The next day, Garnet told me to stay home and find a way to calm my emotions while she kept searching. I had hid the scar by extending my clothing. While I insisted that I go as well, she said that it would be better for me if I had just relaxed. She could always tell when I was going through emotional problems, that's just Garnet. So she left for approximately 48 hours.

"During those two days, I had continued to abuse myself. I had cut my extremities countless times over with the same sword that caused the first. When the pain wasn't enough, I resorted to burning the ends of cigarettes and holding them to my skin" When Pearl said this part I twitched slightly, imagining Pearl burning herself. But I didn't say for her to stop as I felt like I needed to know her past. If I could hold the kind memories she told me of my mother, I could take the darker memories as well.

Pearl continued on, "Eventually, I found the pain to be quite...nice. I have always found that pain was necessary in the world and have always accepted it. But this was different. I believed that I deserved to suffer but just simply didn't.

"After her trip back, Garnet came through the door running. But she stopped when she saw me covered in scars and cuts I had given to myself. Adding to that, I was holding a cigarette just above my skin as I was about to burn another part of me. Before I could try to explain, she grabbed both my hands and slammed them on to the floor, making my release the burning roll of paper. She told me to explain myself. I didn't try to struggle out, I just decided to stay silent. But, over the course of an hour, we just stared at each other. I couldn't see her eyes behind her glasses but know that she was angry at me. Well, disappointed...to say the least.

"I finally gave in to her stare and told her that I had been cutting myself. When she spoke again, it was almost as she was yelling. She asked why have I been doing this to myself and I shouted back saying that I deserved it. It was with this that she let go of me. When I got up, Garnet grabbed me and pulled me into an embrace. She told me that this wasn't the way to go about and that the only way I could deal with my problems was to take it head on. I stayed silent when she also told me that me that Amethyst had swam to Moss Island and was sitting on top of the island's waterfall. It was the only place left her future vision said that Amethyst could be so she searched the island undetected to find her. 'Fix this,' she told me , before I left in the warp pad.

"After stepping off in Moss Island, I made my way to the top of the island to find Amethyst, right where Garnet had said. She was facing the other direction, standing on the edge and looking into the water. When she noticed me, she turned around to show that she was crying but her hair covered her eyes. She asked me why I was there and I responded saying that I wanted to apologize. We didn't talk for a minute until she finally moved her hair out of the way. She went hysterical when she saw me covered in cuts and burns. She ran up to me and started asking about what happened to me and if I was alright. I fell to my knees and looked up at her

"'Why are you so worried about me? I thought you were angry at me' I told her through my tears. She responded telling me that if doesn't matter and that we should get me healed. When I told her that I did it to myself, she seemed to understand why.

"Afterwards, we both sat along the edge of the cliff where I told her I was sorry and would understand if she wouldn't forgive me. After all, what I'd done was probably undeserving of being forgiven. But she caught my attention when she said that she was never mad at me. She told me that she just wanted space and knew that it was just the heat of an argument. And after sitting in silence and watching the sun fall, we came home and she helped we clean my wounds with some of water from Rose's healing fountain. From all of that, I can only say that I've learned not to let my emotions get out of control and to take it head on. Pretty stupid of me for doing all that when I could've just apologized, right?"

When she finished her story and looked back at me, I was crying. The story was almost heart breaking to me. Hearing Pearl talk about hurting herself was bad enough, I can only imagine how Connie would feel when knows that I did as well.

"Why'd you tell me this, Pearl?" I asked honestly.

"Because, Steven, the mistake I made was believing that Amethyst hated me. You're doing the same with Connie now. But now that you know this, you can skip pass all the pain I felt by knowing that if someone loves you, they won't be mad at you for something they understand wasn't your doing." She got up and walked over to me. Her hand went to my face and she smiled, "You don't want to end up like me: beaten up by myself, traitor to my own kind, hitting a friend where it hurts, having to control so many emotions collected and piled up for thousands of years. You don't want to end up like me do you?"

She wasn't just talking about the story, she was talking about her entire existence. Pearl has always told us in the past that she has been brought to instability and insanity so many time because shes was not made to handle emotions. Pearls on Homeworld are originally created to take and carry out orders no one else wants. They weren't made to carry many emotions at all. But the Pearl we know gone through the suffering of knowing that she can't go back to her origins, the heartbreak of losing the one she left it for, agony of killing her own kind, and the pain of living in a world of not her own. But through all of this, she has gained experience, which is what has kept her going. She knows first-hand of what I'm going through and, like always, she's right. I can't keep cutting myself. I'll take my emotions head on until Connie wakes up. 'It'll only make me better' I think.

"No, you're right. I wouldn't want to see Connie like this and the same goes in reverse." I picked up the blade from my dresser and threw it across the room into the trash bin in the kitchen.

"Thank you, Steven. I'm glad I didn't go through that pain for nothing. At least it can help you." She left for the for the last time. I'm glad she helped me. Just her words are enough to move mountains sometimes.

"Oh, Steven?" I met Pearl's eyes. "I was scared that I'd lose Amethyst. But deep down, I wasn't scared if that. I was scared that I'd lose her as a friend. Always ask yourself, what are you really afraid of." And she left.

Alone in the room, almost completely black because the moon wasn't shining directly on to the window, I had thought about Pearl's last question. 'What am I scared of?' I asked myself. 'I'm scared that Connie would be mad or scared and wouldn't want to see me anymore.' But that was that really it? No. She'd never think it was my fault, I just couldn't realize that when I wasn't thinking straight.

I'm scared because I think that it was my fault. That I had caused this. But any rational mind, especially the one of Connie's, would understand that I didn't cause this. So I can easily throw this one away. 'But I still feel kinda bad for this. She came over for a sleepover and instead, she got a coma. Oh well, I have an idea to make it up to her, even if she doesn't that it didn't happen the way she planned. Making her happy can only make me feel better. Besides, I've this planned for a while.'

End of chapter 3.

Steven has forgiven himself...finally. Now we can see how things end up when he and Connie are finally back to having fun like they're used to.

Author's Note: Don't worry this isn't just all hurt and comfort and stuff like that. Every story has to have some happy stuff in there. One of the categories IS romance after all.

Next chapter is in a week


	4. On Hold Notice

Yep story is being put on a stand still. I've lost the love for it although I will finish it one day. Until then, I've put out a Valentine's Dat out as well as getting ready a rose's room drabbles collection of one-shots, and then a tennis tournament. Sorry guys but thanks for sticking with me


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